Bailey the Wonder Dog

As I mentioned in my profile I have a dog. Bailey the Wonder Dog. She is a 7 year old yellow lab. She is wired for sound most of the time. Although I do have to say that she is calming down a bit in her old age. We have had yellow labs in the past & they were the total opposite of Bailey the Wonder Dog. They were calm, never left the yard & didn't eat anything. The Wonder Dog is wired for sound, bolts out of the door every chance she gets & eats EVERYTHING. When I say everything I mean everything. Today I took the Princess to WalMart & Jewel. We were gone about 1 hour. We have a crate for her(the dog not the Princess) but haven't been using it lately because, well pretty much because no one can remember to crate her before we leave the house. Gonna have to work on that. I came home from the stores & I took a quick look around. Dog sleeping right where we left her, no puke, looks good. Great. I start to put things away then the Princess comes to me with 2 half eaten crayons. Mommy the dog ate my colors. Crap. This will mean pretty colored poop in the yard. Wonderful. Then I walk into the living room & notice a half eaten peanut butter jar laying on the floor. When I say half eaten what I really mean is the jar was squeaky clean. Not a spot of Peanut Butter in it. The jar was also half gone. Yep she ate the jar. There was no label either. I found the half eaten lid a few feet away. Crap! That was a new jar too. The kids just opened it to make lunches last night. Then I notice peanut butter stains on my carpet. I had a large throw rug that I had shampooed on the deck yesterday. I remembered it was still out on the deck last night around 10:00. I rolled it up & tossed it in the middle of the living room floor. There was too much stuff on the floor to roll it out & I didn't want to move any of it. Come on, it was after 10:00! I notice peanut butter stains all over that too. I give the Princess a bowl of peaches for lunch. She had a cup of tiny Oreo's in Jewel for lunch. The peaches were desert. Oreo's are a food group aren't they? I thought so. Then I lugged the rug back outside & shampooed it again. I love havin' a dog.
This same dog ate a bar of soap last week. Yes a whole bar. It was Dove in case you want to know. Then she threw it up in the Princess's room. She is a big dog so use your imagination on how big the pile was. As I was cleaning it up I couldn't figure out why it was so bubbly. At this point I have no idea what she ate. Sometimes I think she just pukes to give me something to do. It is always on a carpet too. They do that on purpose. Later that night Queenie wakes me up in the middle of the night(I have no idea why she was up in the middle of the night & I didn't ask) to tell me that the dog threw up twice downstairs in the family room. On the rug of course.
She said,"I think she ate a bar of soap."
Light bulb goes on. That's why it was so bubbly. I told her I would deal with it tomorrow. There was no way I was getting out of bed to clean up dog puke. It will wait for me.

Now this is not the first time this dog has eaten soap. She is 7 & in her lifetime she has probably eaten 10 bars of soap. It is really irritating when I put a brand new bar in the tub & she eats it. We didn't even get it wet yet! I am going to have to contact Dove to see what they put in their soap to make it so tasty. You would think that after the first bite she would realize that this doesn't taste very good. But no. Not the Wonder Dog. She will eat ANYTHING & she has proven it in the past.
Here is a list of things I know she has eaten over the years:

Dove soap
Bread, including the wrapper-any kind not picky
crayons
markers
plastic butter bowls licked clean of any butter
electric cord off a heater(not plugged in at the time)
peanut butter jars
tennis shoes

She has also figured out where the bread drawer is. If we leave any of the wrapper hanging out of the drawer she will work at it until she manages to get the whole drawer open & clean it out. The kids are famous for this. Who knew?

Did I mention I love havin' a dog?

Do you have a Wonder Dog like mine?