Sunday, September 30, 2007

Multi tasking

This morning as I was brushing my teeth( after showering with the Princess yet again) I noticed that I never just brushed my teeth. I was always doing something else too. While brushing my teeth I was picking up wet wash cloth's, piling up all the wet clothes, putting away all the combs & brushes & swishing out the sink. I know for a fact that no one else in my family does this. I think I am the only one who can multi task. It must be a Mom thing. I know it's not a Dad thing. Kids can listen to music & do homework at the same time. So they say. But when it comes to cleaning no one in my house can multi task. I have proven it, many times over. For example I will tell one on my kids to "please fold these socks" while they are just sitting there.

"I can't, I'm watching tv." Is the answer I get. Hello?? I can't remember the last time I just got to watch tv & not be doing something else. I am usually folding clothes. That's a never ending battle around here. I have also been known to look over football, basketball or track paperwork while watching tv. And I know if I had a laptop I could surf the net while watching tv. Although I bet a kid could do that one.

So how come I am the only one in the house who can do 2 things at once? There is only 1 answer to that question.

I'm the Mom, that's why.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Queenie the great

Last night Pookie & I went to Spikes football game. In a town an hour away of course. Football games are never close. The bleachers are really hard too. I'm just sayin'. Anyway while we were gone Queenie turned into the best thing since sliced bread. Queenie got the job of babysitting the Princess. I DO NOT EVER take the Princess to a football game unless I can possibly avoid it. There are a few advantages to having older kids. I get built in babysitters. Queenie was wonderful with her last night. First the Princess let Queenie remove a sliver that I couldn't get near. It had been in there for a few days because she screamed every time I talked about it. I was hoping it would fall out on it's own. Queenie got it out without any trouble at all. Way to go Queenie! Then she got the Princess to take a shower with her. Last time I tried that it turned into a screaming fest. And it wasn't a real shower. I just used to removable shower head to rinse her hair. Here is what happened:

This was about a year ago & the Princess was in the tub with every toy we own. Her hair was already washed but there was creme rinse in it. I went into the kitchen to put away the bread from dinner. Didn't want Bailey the Wonder Dog to eat it.
I hear a scream coming from the bathroom. I run in only to discover that the Princess has pooped in the tub. Not a good poop either. Know what I'm sayin? She was scared to death. It was not a tiny poop & of course it got all over every toy we own. She still has creme rinse in her hair too. I scooped out all the toys & put them into the sink & let the water out. Now I have to use the removable shower head to rinse the creme rinse out of her hair. It didn't go well. Lots of screaming,"You're getting me wet!" Duh. What did she think was gonna happen? I managed to rinse her hair without the neighbors calling DCFS. The Princess can really scream & it was warm out so the windows were open.

I was really please that Queenie was able to give her a shower without any problems. It was such a fun time in there that she insisted on showering with me this morning.

Great, showering was my only shot at any alone time. I lost the "going to the bathroom alone" a long time ago. But I could still shower by myself. Now that's gone too. **sigh**

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Bandaids & bribery

Yesterday the Princess walked outside on the deck in her bare feet. I always have a hard time keeping shoes & socks on her. Even in the Winter she is barefoot. Makes me cold just lookin' at her. She was out there for all of 2 seconds when she came back in crying, "I have a sliver!" I hate those words out of her. It is not an easy thing removing a sliver from a 3 year old who is flailing around like an Octopus. She is also screaming at the top of her lungs. AND I haven't touched her yet. I finally get out of her that yes she would like me to take it out. I go into the bathroom to get my surgical instruments. Saying it that way sounds so much better then saying I went to get the rusty old tweezers. I'm sticking with Surgical Instruments. After I find all the Surgical Instruments I hunt down my reading glasses. Now that I am old I can't see close up without them. I have all the stuff I need including the bandaids. They are the most important part of the whole procedure. They can also be used as a bribe. A good Mom always knows what she can use to bribe her kids. With the Princess it's bandaids. Not just any bandaids, special Princess bandaids. Is there any other kind?

Now for the fun part. I grab a foot as it flies past my face hoping that I have the right one. I might only get one shot at this. Great I have the right foot, now I just have to try to focus my old eyes on the sliver. I locate it just under the big toe. It's on a bendy part of the toe too. This is gonna be tough. She of course is screaming her head off & I haven't actually touched it yet. Getting her to hold still is not easy. With all the flailing going on I hope I don't lose an eye. As I get her foot close to my face so I can see it, she kicks me in the nose. This is so much fun. I try again. I finally manage to get the sliver out. Not sure how I did it though. The kick to my nose almost put me in a coma. I have no memory of removing it.
After all the fun we get to pick out a special princess bandaid. We get one for the actual owie & 2 more just for being so brave. I'm so glad she was brave about it. This could of gotten really ugly if she chose to fight me. **sigh**

So to recap, I have successfully removed a sliver, almost lost an eye & barely escaped a coma. But on the plus side I did get a bandaid for being so brave. It's an Ariel one & I get to wear it proudly on my arm where it will remove all the hair when it gets ripped off.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

$50.00 later

Why is it that when ever I go into Walmart I feel the need to spend $50.00? We just got a new HUGE Walmart a few months ago & it's great. We always had to go to the next town to go to Walmart before. We were all thinking how great it was going to be having one right in our own town! That is until we all started to shop there. Don't get me wrong. I really like having a Walmart in town. Until it showed up we were not able to buy a spool of thread or any craft type items that your kid needed for school(the next day of course)in town. We had to travel at least 20 minutes to do it. Now 20 minutes does not sound like a long time to those of you without kids. 20 minutes is not long at all. But when your child announces at 8:00 at night that he needs to take a wooden embroidery hoop to school tomorrow for art, 20 minutes is a long time. At least now it is only 5 minutes away AND it's open 24 hours. A real bonus for those extra special times when your kid gets out of bed at 10:00 to tell you about the Fuzzy Pipe Cleaners & Poster Board that he HAS to take tomorrow.

Today I went to Walmart for Pepsi & soap. $53.43 later I left the store. There is a force in that store that makes you buy stuff that you had no intention of buying. First I went to get the soap. On the way I noticed toothbrushes on sale. Grabbed a few of those. Then I remembered I just put the last bottle of shampoo in the shower. Got shampoo. And so it goes. By the time I actually get to the Pepsi isle the bottom of my cart is full. The Princess spotted the Lunchables so I get her one. It's not bad if you only have to buy 1 Lunchable. It's when you have to buy 4 or 5 at a time that they get pricey! As I work my way to the checkout more things seem to jump in my cart. I hate it when that happens. It's like shopping with Pookie. When I shop with him I find all kinds of stuff when unloading the cart. It's usually something sweet. Dots or something equally nutritious. And he has no idea how any of it got into the cart either.

With all the money that I have spent in Walmart I think they should name a wing after me.

Monday, September 24, 2007

The Princess & the hottie

It is class ring time & Queenie wants one. Smitty was never interested in getting one so I got a reprieve until now. They had a Class Ring Fair at the high school. What this consisted of is a lot of waiting in line. (Note to self: DO NOT EVER take the Princess to this again.) We had gotten the catalog in the mail of all the styles of rings. No prices of course. That would make it too easy. While waiting in line Queenie picked out a ring that she liked. I told her that we would have to wait & see how much it was because I was not dropping $500.00 on a ring for her. I know she will lose it. Her room is a total pit most of the time & stuff is always getting lost in there.
When you wait in line that long you start to chat with everyone around you. I was chatting with a Mom behind me who had a son Queenie's age. The Princess was getting REALLY bored after waiting this long. By this time we had been in line over an hour & it was not looking good. Queenie was wonderful with her. Taking her over to a counter so she could color, taking her for a million drinks out of the drinking fountain & to the bathroom several times. I couldn't do those things with her. I couldn't lose my place in line you know. **wink wink**
Now I am holding the Princess & she is throwing her body backwards trying to do a back flip out of my arms. I am trying to hang on because I know if she lands on her head I will have to take her to the ER & I will lose my place in line. Any one who has waited in line forever with a little one knows exactly what I am thinking here. If I stay in line with a broken & bleeding kid it just looks bad. I'm just sayin'.
All of a sudden she stops her back flip attempts, sits up looks at the guy behind me & says in her most quietest inside voice(haha the Princess only has 1 volume, loud)


Of course just when she said that it got really quiet in there & everyone with ears heard her.
I look at the poor guy & he is turning several shades of red. Queenie & her friend are laughing & so is everyone who heard her. It was impossible not to hear her. The boys Mom is laughing too. I was trying not to laugh too much. I felt bad for the poor kid. I know he was embarrassed. At this age you like to blend in, not be singled out as a hottie by a 3 year old in front of tons of people. I told him that he has just been declared a hottie by a 3 year old. That's a honor. I'm sure he was wondering what planet I came from & when was I going back.
After waiting in line for an hour & a half it was finally our turn. Turns out that the ring she wants STARTS at $379.00. That is before you add all the cool stuff like your year, name & whatever sport you play. We picked another one & spent just under $100.00. That I can live with.

I managed to walk all 3 miles at the Alzheimer's Memory Walk & I got a snazzy purple t-shirt because I did it. Over $45.000 was raised. Not just by me, I'm not that good! Thank you to everyone who donated. It's for a wonderful cause.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Alzheimer's Disease

This Sunday I am walking in a very important event. It is the 2007 Alzheimer's Memory Walk. My family has a Loved One with Alzheimer's so this walk is very important to us. There are walks held all over the states but this one is being held at Lippold Park in Crystal Lake, IL. It is a 3 mile course. I hope I make it. I can't remember the last time I actually walked 3 miles all at the same time. But it is for a good cause so I will drag myself over the finish line if I have to. Did you hear that family? Actually you will be the ones dragging me. Please eat your Wheaties that day.

I am going to shamelessly ask for donations. There I said it. I wasn't going to but I did. If you want more information about the walk you can go to

If you would like to donate to my team leave a comment with your e-mail address & I can get you the information. It is very easy to do. It is all done online.

Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. For family & friends all we want is for it to be over. But then if it is over our Loved One is gone & we don't want that either. We are between a rock & a hard place.

Ok I have stepped off my soapbox. Thanks for listening.

I promise to write something funny tomorrow. :0)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Tinkles & FlutterPonies

I love to listen to the Princess talk. Sometimes we have the best conversations. Once in awhile I forget that I am talking to a 3 year old.

A few weeks ago I asked her if she wanted juice. She looked at me & said,"No Mom, I'm good."

I keep forgetting that she is really a 15 yr old little girl in a 3yr old body. She can sing the words to several songs that Queenie listens to. Most of then I have never heard of, but that's ok. I'm a Mom & I don't get out much. Queenie & the Princess have a little game going on. Whenever Queenie says "Sweet", the Princess will answer "totally". It's pretty cute to listen too.

My favorite conversation so far happened two nights ago. I was in the bathroom with her drying her off after her bath. Here is how it went.

Princess: "Mom do Tinkles come out of my butt?"
Me: "Yes they do."
Princess: "Do PooPoo's come out of my butt?"
Me: "Yes they do."
Princess: "Do FlutterPonies come out of my butt?"
Me: "Um, no they don't."
Princess: "Can I have a pop tart?"

I was trying so hard not to laugh. The FlutterPony thing came out of no where. I didn't expect her to ask that. But then again I don't expect her to say a lot of the stuff that she says.

I hope one day I can remember this conversation so I can tell her about it.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mom, we're out of soap!

This morning I step into the shower only to discover there is a dime size piece of soap in there. I of course am already wet at this point. I step out of the shower to grab another bar. I can't find any. It sure would of been nice if my family would of shared the fact that they were putting the last bar of soap in the shower. I could of avoided this whole dripping all over the floor thing. I step back in the shower & the Mom in me thinks that I can do this. After all I am "Super Mom"! Of course I can shower with a tiny piece of soap. As I pick it up it slides out of my fingers & I watch as it goes down the drain. Crap! What can I use now? There is no soap. Oooh there is shampoo, I can use that. So I shower AND wash myself with shampoo. I thought only guys did that. All day long I felt bouncy & shiny. I wonder if anyone noticed?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I love Monday's

Yesterday I changed all the sheets on all the beds. It's a Monday thing. I washed everything from The Princess's bed. Including her My Little Pony comforter & blanket. I figured if I couldn't remember when I had washed them last, it was time. I meant the comforter & blanket here not the sheets. I'm just sayin'. Just before nap I put her bed back together. It always takes a while to get hers put back together. She has so much stuff on the floor in her room that I almost always come out of there injured by a stray lego that has embedded itself in my knee or a stab wound from a My Little Pony Unicorn horn. Her room is a war zone. After I put her bed together & get the required amount of injures while doing it, I have to put back all the animals & crap(I meant that in a good way)that she sleeps with. There are several things that HAVE to be on the bed or we can't sleep. Who knew?

Nemo has to be on her pillow, Calliou goes next to her. Cup sits between the pillow & bed rail. Plastic Pringles from her kitchen live under her pillow just in case the Tooth Fairy comes while she is sleeping. (I have no idea why the Tooth Fairy is collecting chips now.) A microphone in case we want to sing before we go to sleep, Mickey goes on her other side. There are also various kitchen utensils from her kitchen. Just in case she feels the need to cook I guess. Then on top of everything goes her yellow blanket. Yellow blanket is really a Baby Bop green & pink blanket that Queenie made for her. Because it is the same colors as Baby Bop, it became Yellow Blanket. Makes perfect sense to me.

The last & most important thing is her YaYa. It is really a Taggie from

I have no idea why she calls it a YaYa. She has always called it that.

Rule #1 You must NEVER go to sleep with out your YaYa. If you do all Hell will break loose.

Rule #2 NEVER lose the Yaya.

Easier said then done let me tell you. She loves to hide it inside of things. I have gone on a search & destroy mission more then once at night looking for the darn thing. Nothing like playing Hide & seek at 9:30 at night. It's big fun.

The Princess takes a great nap on her nice & clean bed, on top of everything this time.
"Not under Mom, on top".

When she gets up she informs me that she needs new pants because hers are wet. I go into her room only to discover that the bed I painstakingly made a few hours ago is soaked & I get to wash it again.
Lucky me.

I love Mondays.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Can I drive?

Friday the most horrible thing happened. Queenie brought home her Driving Permit. I knew it was coming, I even had to send in money so she could get it. But I didn't actually believe it. It was one of those "ya gotta see it to believe it" moments. And I saw it. I'm looking at it right now hanging on the fridge. It doesn't look very scary hanging there all innocent like. But I know different. Pookie took her driving for the first time. I think girls are harder then boys. At least they are in this house. With Smitty it was easy. He had already driven tractors & dirt bikes. He had the basics down. Driving with him was much easier. Driving with a girl is sooo much harder.

We have 2 vehicle's that she can drive. A small pickup truck & a tank. She went driving for the first time in the pickup. She said it went well. Pookie said different. Although there are no dents in the truck & Pookie wasn't shaking as bad as I thought he would be, so I think it went well. They were gone for over an hour which I thought was pretty good for the first time. They have to have 50 hours behind the wheel with a parent. 10 of those must be night driving. Smitty only had to have 25 & I thought those were hard to do. Getting 50 is going to be really tough. I think we will be getting them 5 mins at a time too. We are already getting the standard response for everything we have to leave the house for.

"Can I drive?"

She has only had her permit since Friday & I already hate those 3 little words.

I took her driving 1 time over the weekend. I needed to go to Aldi & she drove me. It was the longest trip of my life. Aldi is really only 5 mins or so away from the house. I took her the only way I could so that she would NOT be on the highway. I didn't think she was ready for the highway. I was right. Plus it was the first time she had ever driven The Tank. The Tank is a 4 door suburban. Much larger then the pickup. You are up higher too. I like being bigger then a lot of cars on the road. To me that's a good thing. When we got back(from the longest trip of my life) she said she felt like The Tank was bigger then the road. I remember feeling that way when I was learning to drive. Dad had a Vega, Mom had a Buick. It was HUGE! I drove the Vega, hated the Buick.

I know where she is coming from. I just hope we live through it.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I am NOT eating that!

I love making dinner for my family. I bet that at least once a week everyone will eat what I fix with out complaining. Take last night for example. I made Stuffed Peppers in the Crock Pot & we had home made bread to eat with it. Yes I said home made bread. Bread that I actually made myself from scratch. Now everyone loves home made bread. You have to. I thought it was a rule. Everyone this is except Queenie. She has got to be the pickiest eater on the planet. Most of the time whatever I make she will say, "I am so NOT eating that!" Then because she has said she is not eating it the Princess will not eat it either. I do try to make stuff that everyone likes but it is really hard when she only likes 2 things. Turkey & Chicken. I like turkey & chicken just as much as the next guy but I can't make them every night. There are really only a few ways to make chicken that she will eat. I usually make in it the crock pot & I use Cream of Mushroom soup. Once she found out I was using Cream of Mushroom soup in there she wouldn't eat it.

"I don't like mushrooms Mom, you know that."

Of course I know that. I know everything that she doesn't eat. I'm just a little sketchy on the stuff she WILL eat. She exists on Peanut Butter Sandwiches & cereal when I make stuff she doesn't like. Which is most of the time.

I was never one of those Moms who made each kid a different meal when they didn't like what I fixed. I hate cooking anyway, mostly because my family is so picky. I just figured they could eat Apple Sauce, Bread & Butter & Cheese if they chose not to eat what I fixed. Nobody has starved yet so my method must be working. I have yet to get a phone call from school telling me my child starved to death, so think I'm good.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Those "Mom of the Year" moments

Everyone has “Mom of the year” moments. We don’t like to admit it but we do. You know the ones I’m talking about. They are the ones that leave you looking & feeling extremely stupid. Usually in front of a crowd of people. This kind of stuff almost never happens when you are alone. They just wouldn’t be as effective then!

This proud moment happened to me yesterday. I was across the street chatting with the neighbor in her yard when I noticed someone walking a dog. It was a Yellow Lab & since I have one I always notice those. I could hear the dog breathing hard & it was pulling on the leash. I kept talking my friend & ignored the dog until it pulled its person into the yard where we were. The dog was very friendly & it looked like it needed to go on a diet. Or at the very least more walks. The dogs walker then asked if we knew who this dog belonged to. I took a closer look at the dog & said,”Crap, that’s my dog!” Yes it was Bailey the Wonder Dog. It was a proud moment for me because I didn’t even know she was gone.

Now lets flashback to earlier in the day. Around noon I let the dog out. Then I forgot about her. She usually does her thing & then barks when she wants in. I was busy with the Princess & I also had a spare kid. I forgot all about the dog. I’m such a good Mom! A few hours later I went outside to the garbage can & noticed my gate was wide open. A brief thought crossed my mind. I wonder if the dog got out? I should look. I just figured that she would be passed out on the couch downstairs. It’s one of her favorite activities along with eating anything & everything she can reach. I think she is really a guy in disguise.

As we all know Mom’s are very busy people & by the time I got back in the house the phone had rung & I forgot to look for the dog. Return to real time & there I am feeling very stupid in front of a girl I don't know & my neighbor. My neighbor thought this was very funny. I think she is still laughing.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Soup anyone?

Why is it that whenever you put a kid in the bathtub they will drink the water? Last night I put the Princess in the tub with her toys. Usually I put the toys in for her. This time she decided to put in the whole bucket full. Among the toys are various cups of different sizes. She uses them to dump water all over the floor. I use the bigger one to rinse her hair. While dumping all the toys she finds a spoon. She gets very excited over this. We haven't dumped out all the toys in a long time. I get her settled & go to the kitchen to finish loading the dishwasher. After a few minutes I hear,"Mom want some soup"? Great, I know exactly what she is doing. Drinking the bath water. Yum. Nothing like yummy soapy dirty butt water soup! Seconds anyone?
I tried to explain that you don't drink dirty water that your butt sits in but she just didn't get it. She was extra dirty too. Yuck.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

I have a date!

Queenie came home from the football game last night & informed me that she has a date for Homecoming. Now while I am happy for her, this brings back really bad memories of the last school dance she went to. Not the dance itself, that went great according to her. It was the shopping. Shopping with a 15 year old just sucks. I took her to the mall. I was hoping for some nice Mother Daughter bonding. Wishful thinking on my part. I'm hoping she has something in her closet that she can wear to this dance. But I am betting she doesn't.
Here is what happened last time we went shopping for a dance outfit.

Queenie is going to the Winter Formal at school. This requires a shopping trip because she has nothing to wear. Went Wednesday to the next town, hit 7 stores & found nothing. Thursday night we went to the mall.

Leave the house at 4:30 to go to The Mall. I have $50.00 cash I hope it's enough otherwise plastic here I come. We park in front of Sears & I say a quick prayer to the clothing Gods for a quick & painless trip on my way in. First stop Sears, nothing. Damn. I was hoping for a miracle. Oh well many more stores to go. Next stop Deb's. After spending what seemed like 3 days in here I found a black skirt with red trim on the bottom that actually fit, looked good AND she liked it. Plus it was only $12.99 SOLD!! Bad news is that the top we had at home has green stripes on it and won't go with the new skirt. Ok, don't panic, now we need a shirt & shoes. Spend another day and a half looking in same store for shirt. Can't find anything we like. Off to the next hundred or so stores. Nada. Ok now I am starving & my feet feel like they are going to fall off. We make a pit stop at the food court when I sit in a booth with my legs propped up feeling very old. After we eat it's off to the next store, where we found nothing. Then we hit J.C. Penney's. In here we find shoes, a necklace & bracelet, all on sale! Yes!!! But still no top. It's about 7:00 now & those strollers you can rent that look like fire trucks are looking pretty good about now. I wonder if she will push me? Probably not.
Now I start with the "you have to find a shirt soon we have to go" speech. That went over like a fart in church. Back to Deb's where I threaten her with the "you only have 15 minutes to find a shirt" speech. She is now pissed & I am ready to kill her. Spend 2 days wandering around the store looking at prom dresses. Even found one I wanted to try on. Wait! What am I thinking we are here to get a shirt, where is she? Spot her wandering around. Threaten her again. Thought I saw a tear. Crap. Then I tell her we are going to Sears. It is the last store before the car. You HAVE to find a shirt in here or you will not have one. Yep there it is… an actual tear. Wonderful. Off I go into Sears with her trailing behind me. About 10 feet into the store there it is. Music goes off & light shines above the rack. It’s a red silky top. We both stop to look. Oh my God she likes it. I grab 2 sizes & drag her toward the changing room before she can change her mind. It’s more then I want to spend but at this point I don't care. When she has it on & STILL likes it I toss in the skirt. I might actually get lucky here. Well how is it? I hold my breath as she opens the door. She says the most beautiful words….. "I like it". I almost wet myself. You’re beautiful I say. She shuts the door & I send a prayer of thanks to the clothing Gods that I lived through this. She tosses out the skirt & top. I sprint toward the checkout to pay for it before she changes her mind.
Moral of story:
Spending quality time with your 15 year old daughter......... PRICELESS

Friday, September 7, 2007

Mom always says don't play ball in the house.

Kids are great & sometimes they do stuff that you just have to laugh at. Here is a good example.
Remember the Brady Bunch episode where they played basketball in the house & broke a vase? I think everyone has seen that one several times. This is our version of that story.

A few weeks ago I came home after spending all day at the hospital with my Father-in-law. Pookie was already home from work & was watching the girls play catch in the living room. Now I don't mind if they play catch in the house but you have to be careful. We do have ceiling fans. Do you see where I am going with this? I went into the kitchen & noticed that my wonderful children had not touched it all day. They just added to the mess. Here is a visual for you. Various My Little Ponies scattered all over the floor. Colored pencils & about 50 sheets of printer paper(all with a little scribble on each one) are everywhere. Apparently we have a little artist. Several pieces of plastic food from the Princess's kitchen litter the floor. 'Nuf said. Get the picture yet? Oh yea & the sink is overflowing with dishes. Both sides are heaping with dirty dishes & a glass is perched on top of the pile. I'm not exactly sure how it's staying up there. It's just plain scary in here. As I stand in the kitchen the girls wander in & start playing catch. The words be careful are not even out of my mouth when the Princess tosses the ball in the air. I watch helpless as the ceiling fan catches the ball & flings it over to the wall knocking the curtain rod off the window. See where this is going? The curtain rod falls into the sink hitting the glass that has been perched so nicely on top of the pile sending it crashing to the floor. Of course it smashed into a million tiny pieces. There is really nothing to do but laugh at this point. The princess is not wearing any shoes so we grab her & move her to the carpet. She is mad & starts to cry because she wants to help pick up the glass. I don't let her because I have spent enough quality time at the hospital today & I do not have time for a ER visit. It's a good thing that no one put the vacuum cleaner away last time they used it. That makes it really handy to clean up the mess. I even manage to clean it all up without cutting myself. After about 45 minutes I can see the floor. Before I can vacuum up all the glass I have to pick up all the toys & other stuff that is on the floor.

And that my friends is a perfectly good example of why your Mother always told you not to play ball in the house.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I'm bored

Pookie came home form the ER with instructions to ice down his ankle tonight & take it easy the next day. He dropped off his prescription at Walgreens before coming home. He came into the house & I got him settled in the recliner with an ice pack & went to pick up Spike from Football practice. I picked up Spike & then headed to Walgreens to pick up the prescription. Of course it was not ready & they were so busy. I have never seen it so busy. I left poor Spike in the car telling him I would only be a minute. After all how long could it take to pick up a RX & a battery? Well it took almost 45 minutes. Poor Spike was exhausted from practice & very smelly & sweaty. When I finally left the store I found my car by looking for the stink fumes coming off of it. It was pretty easy to find because it was the only car with little squiggly fumes rising above it. We rode home with the windows down. Good thing it's summer.

Pookie didn't go to work today. I didn't think it was going to happen but he said he was going in today. My alarm went off at 6:30 & he is still in bed. He usually leaves around 6:30. I told him to stay home & off the ankle today. Then I got up to start the waking up process of 2 kids while he went back to sleep. Gotta love him.

Woke up Queenie & all I got was a grunt. Then off to wake up Spike. I get a much better response from him. He actually sits up & looks at me. Then back up to wake up Queenie again. This time I have success. I don't talk to her because I have learned this is a bad thing. She is NOT a morning person. Apparently that is why she slept til 1:00 everyday all summer. To avoid the morning. Good plan.

Got Queenie out the door on time & then later noticed that she forgot her lunch in the fridge. It's only day 4 of school & we are already forgetting our lunch. It's gonna be a great year.

Had to drive Spike to school today. He had this huge hockey bag full of Football pads & other football type stuff. It's bigger then he is & I'm pretty sure it weighs more. His bus is so crowded that they have to sit 3 kids to a seat. That means that this huge bag gets to ride on his lap. He begged for a ride today. So being the nice Mommy that I am I drove him. As I load the Princess into her car seat I notice that it is 8:15. School starts in 15 minutes. Wonderful, we are running late. So I am driving like a bat out of Hell(very safely & within the speed limit of course ) and as we drive past one of his friends(also on the football team) he says,"oh crap! I forgot my jersey." Great. I take the next turn & speed home. I ask him if he knows where it is. He yells,"yes" as he runs in to the house. He has a game today & was supposed to wear the Jersey. You would think that this would of crossed his mind last night when I told him to pick out his clothes for today. But then again he is 13 & a guy. That's 2 strikes against him. Poor kid.

Pookie is sitting in the recliner with ice on his ankle. He managed to take a shower without any help from me. I didn't hear any big thuds coming from the bathroom either. That means he didn't fall. Good. He hobbles out to the recliner & I start filling the ice pack. The Princess is playing Nancy Nurse & wrapping his other ankle in a Ace wrap. When I take the Ace wrap away so I can use it I give her 2 straps with Velcro on them. She is just as happy with those. What ever works. After I get him settled he tells me he is bored. This is great. Now I have to play Cruise Director today & keep him entertained. Like I have nothing else to do today. I left the Princess in charge of entertainment & left the room. I need to try to find a counter today. I am doing it slowly. I don't want to overwork myself. The Princess entertained him by watching Clifford, Dragon Tales, Calliou & Teletubbies. Where does she come up with these great ideas? I could of never provided that quality of entertainment on my own. Good thing she was here.

When my kids tell me they are bored I make them clean something. I am going to make him fold socks. I hate folding socks. We have a "SOCK BASKET" it's where I put all the socks when I fold clothes. Eventually we all dig through it for socks because no one wants to match them up.

"Oh Pookie I have a job for you."

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Serious Injury

Around 4:00 I got a call from Dh( from here on out to be known as Pookie) telling me he was in the ER. I was wondering where he was. At least now I know. He was supposed to come home after work, change clothes & go play in some sort of poker tournament thingie with some friends. About 10 minutes before the end of work, he got out of his truck & stepped on a hose. He twisted his ankle & heard some snap, crackle & pop noises. Those kinds of nosies are never good when they are body related. I'm sure he said some choice words too. He did the right thing though & told work what he did. Otherwise with our luck it will come back & bite us in the ass. Then he went to the ER. He drove himself too. He hurt his right ankle. And since he is a guy driving on it was perfectly fine. You guys know exactly what I am talking about. Never ask for help if you can possibly avoid it.
So my wonderful Pookie drives on his rapidly swelling ankle to the ER. When he calls to tell me where he is he says,"I'm afraid to take my boot off."
Great. This already sounds good doesn't it? I picture him coming home(driving of course) with crutches & orders to stay home for a week. This is not good. Guys are whiny when they are sick. Oh stop, you know you are. And when they are not sick but have to stay home anyway they are worse.
This is really going to mess up my day. How can I lay on the couch in my robe eating BonBons & watching soaps if he is going to be home? Usually I get the kids out the door & then the Princess & I lounge around eating chocolate & giving directions to the maids(notice the s on the end of Maid) till 1ish then she takes a nap. Then I shower & get dressed cause it looks bad if you are still in your jammies when the kids come home from school. Pookie is really gonna mess this up for me.

Ha! I wish! In my dreams I would have a maid or 2 or 6. The lounging around in my jammies all day has actually happened. Not recently though. And I also think I had the flu. Because every Mom knows that in order to stay in your jammies & lounge around all day you have to be sick. Not just a little sick but A LOT sick. Sick with fluid coming out of every orifice you own sick. Ok well you get the picture.

I'm off to bed. Well first I have to make sure that anything that looks like food or could be used as a food substitute is hung from the ceiling. Bailey the Wonder Dog will be on the prowl tonight. Looking I'm sure, for anything that she didn't eat today.

Bailey the Wonder Dog

As I mentioned in my profile I have a dog. Bailey the Wonder Dog. She is a 7 year old yellow lab. She is wired for sound most of the time. Although I do have to say that she is calming down a bit in her old age. We have had yellow labs in the past & they were the total opposite of Bailey the Wonder Dog. They were calm, never left the yard & didn't eat anything. The Wonder Dog is wired for sound, bolts out of the door every chance she gets & eats EVERYTHING. When I say everything I mean everything. Today I took the Princess to WalMart & Jewel. We were gone about 1 hour. We have a crate for her(the dog not the Princess) but haven't been using it lately because, well pretty much because no one can remember to crate her before we leave the house. Gonna have to work on that. I came home from the stores & I took a quick look around. Dog sleeping right where we left her, no puke, looks good. Great. I start to put things away then the Princess comes to me with 2 half eaten crayons. Mommy the dog ate my colors. Crap. This will mean pretty colored poop in the yard. Wonderful. Then I walk into the living room & notice a half eaten peanut butter jar laying on the floor. When I say half eaten what I really mean is the jar was squeaky clean. Not a spot of Peanut Butter in it. The jar was also half gone. Yep she ate the jar. There was no label either. I found the half eaten lid a few feet away. Crap! That was a new jar too. The kids just opened it to make lunches last night. Then I notice peanut butter stains on my carpet. I had a large throw rug that I had shampooed on the deck yesterday. I remembered it was still out on the deck last night around 10:00. I rolled it up & tossed it in the middle of the living room floor. There was too much stuff on the floor to roll it out & I didn't want to move any of it. Come on, it was after 10:00! I notice peanut butter stains all over that too. I give the Princess a bowl of peaches for lunch. She had a cup of tiny Oreo's in Jewel for lunch. The peaches were desert. Oreo's are a food group aren't they? I thought so. Then I lugged the rug back outside & shampooed it again. I love havin' a dog.
This same dog ate a bar of soap last week. Yes a whole bar. It was Dove in case you want to know. Then she threw it up in the Princess's room. She is a big dog so use your imagination on how big the pile was. As I was cleaning it up I couldn't figure out why it was so bubbly. At this point I have no idea what she ate. Sometimes I think she just pukes to give me something to do. It is always on a carpet too. They do that on purpose. Later that night Queenie wakes me up in the middle of the night(I have no idea why she was up in the middle of the night & I didn't ask) to tell me that the dog threw up twice downstairs in the family room. On the rug of course.
She said,"I think she ate a bar of soap."
Light bulb goes on. That's why it was so bubbly. I told her I would deal with it tomorrow. There was no way I was getting out of bed to clean up dog puke. It will wait for me.

Now this is not the first time this dog has eaten soap. She is 7 & in her lifetime she has probably eaten 10 bars of soap. It is really irritating when I put a brand new bar in the tub & she eats it. We didn't even get it wet yet! I am going to have to contact Dove to see what they put in their soap to make it so tasty. You would think that after the first bite she would realize that this doesn't taste very good. But no. Not the Wonder Dog. She will eat ANYTHING & she has proven it in the past.
Here is a list of things I know she has eaten over the years:

Dove soap
Bread, including the wrapper-any kind not picky
plastic butter bowls licked clean of any butter
electric cord off a heater(not plugged in at the time)
peanut butter jars
tennis shoes

She has also figured out where the bread drawer is. If we leave any of the wrapper hanging out of the drawer she will work at it until she manages to get the whole drawer open & clean it out. The kids are famous for this. Who knew?

Did I mention I love havin' a dog?

Do you have a Wonder Dog like mine?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Cast of Characters

I have always wanted to have a blog so today(while I am supposed to be cleaning) I decided to start one.
Today is the first day of school. Yea! I did the Happy Dance as soon as I was sure they couldn't see me. I don't think I was the only one doing the Happy Dance. I thought I saw one of my neighbors dance by her window. I have big plans today. I am going to clean house. We have had a lot going on in the past 3 weeks. My FIL had to be hospitalized so lots of time was spent in the hospital visiting him & keeping Mom company. My house suffered because of it. I'm glad I was able to spend as much time in the hospital with him as I did, but no one took up the slack here at the house. Of course I did not leave COMPLETE instructions(I mean directions) for my 4 kids. So it's my fault. My kids are 18,15,13 & 3. Yes I know the last one was a surprise. We love her dearly but she was the biggest shock of my lifetime!
Now in my dreams my wonderful kids cleaned the house & made dinner all while lovingly watching over their baby sister. Ha! Like that happened. This is what really happened.
Cast of Characters:
Smitty-18 years old
He likes to work on cars & get really messy & greasy. Then he cleans up in his bathroom leaving all of the grease all over the sink. He will tell you that he can put in the new motor or whatever it is & it will only take 5 minutes. His idea & my idea of 5 minutes are not the same. Mine is actually 5 minutes & his is about a week.

She is the teenage drama Queen. She is sometimes so sweet I wonder what happened to my real daughter. Then I ask her to pass the salt & the real Queenie stands up. She can have a melt down over the dumbest(I mean most crucial) stuff. You know the type. She has also spent most of the summer sleeping. This is the same kid that didn't want to go to Drum Corp camp because she would waste her summer. Huh?

He is a pretty easy going kid. Loves to play football & run track. Most of the time he will do what you ask him to without having a fit about it.


Otherwise known as "Her Royal Highness". We Know who really rules the house & it's not me. A few months before her 3rd birthday she began telling anyone who would listen that she was going to be a "True Princess" on her birthday. Not just your everyday ordinary princess but a TRUE princess. Now this is a chick who knows what she wants!

Back to my hospital visits. I wake up Spike & tell him that he has to keep an eye on the Princess because I have to go to the hospital. I will be gone all day so please remember to feed her lunch & put her down for a nap. then it starts. "I'm not gonna watch her all by myself you have to make Queenie help." I go to wake up Queenie & all I get is a grunt from somewhere under the covers. All I can see of her is a toe. When I tell her to get up she whines at me. I love this. Then I ask her to at least move to the couch so the Princess is not alone in the living room. So she drags all her covers off her bed & goes to sleep on the couch. Not exactly what I had in mind but it will work. Then I make sure Spike is up. Someone should really be up & moving before I leave the house.
Smitty works all day so he is not an option here. I leave & am gone most of the day. I check in several times & yes they did remember to feed the Princess & put her down for a nap. Good. But later when I come home I find all of Queenie's blankets still on the couch & the house looking like it threw up. Apparently Queenie slept until almost 1:00. Just in time to put the Princess down for her nap. Then of course there was nothing to do so she chatted online to her friends who were just getting up too. I wanna be 15 again!
So today I am trying to find the house. It is also the day I change the sheets on everyones beds. I tried having the kids change their own sheets but that didn't work out. Yep you guessed it, they didn't change them at all. Yuck. So know whether they need it or not all sheets get changed every week. My washer is working overtime today!
I have spent enough time playing around now I have to finish cleaning or at least make it look like I did something before the kids & DH get home.